The Art of Maintaining Composure and Being Human

Maintaining composure in stressful moments is truly an art. It’s an art, but it’s something that can be learned and can be harnessed in the moments you don’t expect to need it. This particular skill was needed a month ago when I uploaded what could be considered a “controversial” video, but was meant to be looked at from a business and consumer perspective.

The topic of the video was the frequency of the releases from Mambi and how much product was released. I stated that they had just released a large set of brand new planners and accessories not even 6 months prior, in addition to having a smaller release several months before that. In less than 6 months, around at least 150+ products (if you count each individual product separately) have been released. While I understand the need for variety, I’ve started to wonder if it’s all too much and too fast. 30 new planners (including several not mentioned in the original releases – more on that at a later date) were released between Michaels and Hobby Lobby. While they share a few designs, both stores had exclusives. The mini planners that were released are also all undated, a feature that some love, but most haven’t enjoyed. The accessories were even more spread out than the planners, but there is most definitely a lot of product. All of these products have been added to product that is still currently being produced and still in store. My concern was based on wondering at what point does it become too much? and will there be a burn-out on the creative end and in manufacturing?

As someone who absolutely adores the company and the Happy Planner brand, I didn’t want to see the situation that I had with the Erin Condren Life Planner all over again. I love variety, but I don’t feel that the products should be released on the schedule that they’re on. Most planner brands start to release their 18-month planners around now, but most releases that I follow truly start to begin in May and continue on from there, while also having their 12-month planners available for next year. While I can’t complain about having at least a twice a year release, I do think that particular schedule needs to be revisited and refined. My biggest complaint for the 12-month planners had been that they weren’t out in time for most of the holiday rush in a lot of stores and I felt that should have been addressed well before-hand by both the store and the company in order to ensure a timely set up. However, even though my thoughts were valid, many people didn’t think so.

“This is stupid, why would you care?”

“Why would you even complain about something like this? We don’t get this option here in (insert location here.)”

“If you can’t afford it, don’t buy them.”

“Get a degree and you’ll understand.”

Those are just a select few of the comments that I had received in messages, in comments of a thread I had initially started, and also on the video itself. None of the comments had anything to do with the video itself and more to do with myself as a person. These comments were coming in fast and to make the situation worse, I wasn’t even home to do any sort of damage control. In the thread I had created, I was coming to terms with the comments made against myself, but then people started attacking others in the comments. Like any sane adult, I turned off comments and decided to delete the thread because none of the people who had supported me should deal with the equally as ignorant accusations. The stress that had started to pile on from the comments and the anger that I was starting to feel had dissipated almost instantly. The situation was done, I wasn’t alone and had my message out.

Or so I thought.

“She deleted it because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“It’s sad that this is something that she cares about.”

“The fact she deleted just shows that she can’t stand people not agreeing with her. Way to be a complete loser.”

“She’s complaining because she obviously has a problem with self control.”

Another thread had returned by someone else who immediately played the card that I had to have blocked them when I did no such thing. I left a comment on the new thread telling her that I did no such thing and laid out the facts of why the original thread was deleted, but apparently that was the absolute wrong answer. The situation escalated to a point that I truly wasn’t expecting and the comments made about me and have been made about me since then have been absolutely disgusting. Since I still wasn’t home and wasn’t set to be home for a few hours, everything I did at that point was in the public eye. Even though I was out in the world, I had to act as though the situation wasn’t bothering me. I set everything I had to not send notifications, or to send less notifications as they never really stopped, and set the push notifications on my phone to off. If I didn’t start setting the situation as far as I could in the back of my mind, I’m almost positive that I would’ve lashed out at someone. While the situation was on-going, at the time it was better to just take a step back and breathe. Take a deep breath in, let a deep breath out. As the tattoo on my wrist says as a permanent reminder, “Just keep breathing.”

When I was finally home, I was able to start on the damage control I had received. Briefly check through filtered messages, delete the ones that were nasty and reply to the people who were supportive and were ashamed at everyone else. I could monitor my video and delete the nasty comments as they came through. I even made a point to message an admin to have the second thread that wasn’t made by me deleted (it never was) in the hopes that situation would just end and everyone could move along. While I hate to admit it, the situation bothered me for a good two weeks after the fact and has been a big reason as to why I haven’t made content recently. In the moments during and following the incident with the video I felt defeated and confused. I couldn’t understand the amount of ignorance and how nasty people could be in regards to another human being. YouTube is a vast space and while it’s easy for some people to post, for others such as myself, it’s difficult.

If this had been a situation that had occurred a few years ago, it would’ve been something I really would have struggled through and would have been bothered by a lot longer. Chances are I wouldn’t have been able to work through the situation and wouldn’t be making this post today as a reflection of the situation and with a message.

There is no reason to be ignorant or make comments on situations that you do not know about. If you think that you know someone, but truly don’t, then do not comment. If you want to have facts, then ask. If you have questions, then ask. If you do not receive the answers that you expect or are looking for, do not get angry. If you feel your opinion is fact, then remember that it is only fact. Words on a screen are often more painful than words said in person, as in person there’s an ounce of courage behind them, whether it be from fear or anger or any other emotion in between. Words on a screen do not disappear as readily as words that are said that can vanish into the air. This message applies to people of all ages, of all races, of all walks of life. In today’s day and age there is no need for any of this, although it is something that needs to be said more often than it should. Bullying does not always end after you graduate high school, but it is still up to you to define what is right and what is wrong. People need to be more conscientious of their words and what they are saying. What you are saying might not affect you, but it can affect someone else.

Be kind to one another. Build each other up, not tear each other down.

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2 Comments

  1. March 22, 2017 / 11:58 pm

    I’m sorry that happened to you. I know the post you mentioned and sadly that type of behavior seems to be par for the course in that group. It’d be nice if people would put down the pitch forks and try being the nice, understanding, etc “community” they claim to be. 😐

    • March 23, 2017 / 1:26 am

      <3 <3 <3

      I knew it was going to get bad, but I never would've anticipated the point it got. It's been mentioned by a few people that it got the reaction it did because I was right, but it still didn't help in the moment. I'm over it now, but I'll definitely be working on where I want to put a wall up and where I want to pull it down.

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