In the two months that I’ve been on here, I’ve been struggling with the expectation of how people expect me to be and how I truly am. In the many years that I’ve done this, I’ve seen others have these large personalities that don’t match the person they are deep down and I’ve seen the ugly behind people who put on a persona that truly doesn’t match how they actually are. I don’t want to be that person and I want to be my most authentic self.
The world wide web is a scary place. It’s a place for people to judge you and make assumptions based off of who they think you are. They create a life story for you that is nothing like what it really is. It’s very easy for people to shove you to the wayside without realizing how great of a person you truly are. This fear leads to creating a new person, a new you that you don’t even know. This can either work in your favor, but most times comes crashing down because you can’t keep up the charade any longer.
I’ll admit that two months in the planner community had started to cause me to twist the person I am, but now that I’ve had time to sit and reflect, that’s ending. There’s no reason to try and be the person I’m not just to try and get views – that’s not what matters. What matters is the satisfaction at the end of the day that I’ve helped one person in some way. It’s time to be my true self.
I’m moody, I’m sarcastic, I’m dramatic, but I’m a lot of other things, too. I’m extremely loyal, I never tell a secret, and the very small group of friends I do have are the absolute best things in the world to me. In person I’m very introverted, choosing to listen and only offering information when it’s something I’m truly passionate about. I’m a researcher – I try to find as much information as I can about something before speaking about it. I can speak about just about any topic and will gladly learn from another if it’s something that I’m not familiar with. I admit that I have flaws and embrace them. A lot of these traits are things that people are afraid of and that’s terrible.
That’s why it’s important to find balance. It’s not something that will come easy and it’s not something that I can explain to you how to do, other than to sit and figure things out for yourself. Your journey to find the balance of who you are and what you want to portray to everyone else is something that comes from your heart. Pouring your heart and soul out online is an extremely intimate thing, especially when you find yourself in the middle of a niche community. You can do it, though. Don’t be afraid.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Next week I’ll return to my normal posting schedule – new things are on the horizon!